“At Least He Never Hit Me”

Too Ashamed to Tell “at least He Never Hit me“The Silent Abuser in a Christian Marriage

 

What is emotional abuse: Emotional abuse is not visible. Unlike physical abuse, the people receiving it may not even know it’s happening.

Many women suffer in silence from emotional abuse in their marriages. Not all emotional abuse involves shouting or criticism. Examples of emotional abusive acts include silent treatment, failure to take ownership or responsibility for wrongdoing. In Christian marriages, the husband may convince the woman that she’s not a good wife or she is not Christian enough and may even utilize the scriptures to justify his actions

 Even though there is the absence of physical violence.The pain of emotional abuse may be more lasting and more damaging than physical abuse at times because of the silent wounds that many women bear. Emotional abuse is hard to see and for that reason may go unnoticed for so long without any way out. Christian women are afraid to tell because they are supposed to submit and bear their cross. A Christian husband may be a leader or a pastor in the church, and may appear so dedicated to prayer and church work. How could he then be abusive? Women are kept in silence by fear of loss of status, fear of rejection, it may be hard to convince people that they are in an abusive relationship . Women remain bound by fear of shame, guilt, and rejection. It is important for ladies to take the time to notice the early warning signs of a man that may become emotionally abusive

 

Warning signs of an emotional abuser:

*Silent Treatment

*They may punish themselves and in turn cause you to feel guilty

* They do not apologize for wrong doing

*They are quick to blame others

* They quote the scriptures to justify abuse or may excessively attribute errors in their thinking to a sign from God

* They are quick to dismiss people

* They are passive aggressive and may put you down

* They make you feel your service to God is not good enough

*They convince you their relationship with God is better than yours

 

to be contd

 

Mommy Insomnia

Mommy insomnia is simply not getting enough sleep because you’ve got the kids’ night feedings, snacks, lunch , diapers ,projects, homework , soccer , school play all on your mind . The list is endless , so here are 5 tips to overcome mommy insomnia .

1.Take small naps in between thoughts

2.Sometimes just say no and walk away for 5 minutes

3.That moment when you suddenly start cleaning incessantly it’s a sign of anxiety stop and breathe for a moment

4. Adjust your posture , sit up , sit back ,walk slower

5. Just look out the window and laugh , the dishes willl still be there after your nap

Emotional Health: Everyone’s Business

Emotional Health: Everyone’s Business

John is a great person by a lot of accounts, but he is also difficult to work with on a team. He can be controlling, and he has a hard time when colleagues disagree with him.

John has a lot of wonderful ideas and is potentially a good leader, but he has not received any recommendation for a promotion in his ten years of service at his company. It is not hard to see that John has some emotional difficulties that is affecting his interpersonal performance.

Like John, our emotional wellness can influence our job performance and most importantly our physical health, wellbeing, happiness, everything we do is affected by any imbalance or balance in our emotions

Our Emotional health can also directly impact our business, career growth, interpersonal interactions, and physical health.
It is crucial to carry out a survey routinely of how we are viewed by our customers, family members, and friends and utilize the results to become our agent of change

1. Get to know yourself much more. Know your strengths weaknesses. Take some time to reflect on yourself
2. Pay more attention to yourself, how do you arrive at the decisions that you make. Make a list of the specific things that led you to make a particular decision
3. Learn the strengths and weaknesses of others; this will teach you how to be more successful on a team.

Change with Kemi
Contact me for Wellness/ Emotional Health Training /Change consultation
Individual/ groups/ online
lifeconsult@gmail.com

“He never hit me”

Too Ashamed to Tell “at least He Never Hit me“The Silent Abuser in a Christian Marriage

 What is emotional abuse: Emotional abuse is not visible. Unlike physical abuse, the people receiving it may not even know it’s happening.

Many women suffer in silence from emotional abuse in their marriages. Not all emotional abuse involves shouting or criticism. Examples of emotional abusive acts include silent treatment, failure to take ownership or responsibility for wrongdoing. In Christian marriages, the husband may convince the woman that she’s not a good wife or she is not Christian enough and may even utilize the scriptures to justify his actions

 Even though there is the absence of physical violence.The pain of emotional abuse may be more lasting and more damaging than physical abuse at times because of the silent wounds that many women bear. Emotional abuse is hard to see and for that reason may go unnoticed for so long without any way out. Christian women are afraid to tell because they are supposed to submit and bear their cross. A Christian husband may be a leader or a pastor in the church, and may appear so dedicated to prayer and church work. How could he then be abusive? Women are kept in silence by fear of loss of status, fear of rejection, it may be hard to convince people that they are in an abusive relationship . Women remain bound by fear of shame, guilt, and rejection. It is important for ladies to take the time to notice the early warning signs of a man that may become emotionally abusive

 

Warning signs of an emotional abuser:

*Silent Treatment

*They may punish themselves and in turn cause you to feel guilty

* They do not apologize for wrong doing

*They are quick to blame others

* They quote the scriptures to justify abuse or may excessively attribute errors in their thinking to a sign from God

* They are quick to dismiss people

* They are passive aggressive and may put you down

* They make you feel your service to God is not good enough

*They convince you their relationship with God is better than yours

 

to be contd

 

7 TIPS To A New You in 2016

7 TIPS To A New You in 2016

1. Take More Risks in fulfilling your dreams
2. Never stop Dreaming
3. Be your own best critique
4. Take time for yourself
5. use the lessons from your past failures to help someone
6. Embrace joy and laugh often
7. Celebrate where you are in your life’s journey

 

kemi A

Oh Let My Heart Rest

No diamonds just razors in my pockets
Tears weighed down my eye sockets
Many past mistakes and choices bruised me
Oh let my heart rest ! leave it be

But God told me to love you he said
Now years later these words have become unsaid
Once we were allies
Now promises of forever have become lies

Your light have flown away like ashes
Or will it reappear like flashes
Had you come to steal from me
Oh let my heart rest ! Leave it be

kemi Akinbusuyi @ 2015

Ladies! Emotional Abuse in A Christian Marriage

Emotional Abuse is a particularly risky topic in Christian marriages and Christians are less likely to discuss this. This is due to the biblical dynamics of submission versus love, often the message is you must submit to your husband no mater how horribly he’s treating you..

What is emotional abuse:, it is a pattern of behaviors that people use to establish dominance in their relationships. It’s about having power and control over another human being, not about their faith or status in church, or their bank account, or their prominence in society ..

Ladies ! 10 Signs that may show that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship
1. There is no room for disagreement with your spouse, you’re always wrong
2. You feel confused, vulnerable, trapped, and worthless and it seems you’re just not good enough
3. Your spouse often shuts down emotionally when upset, and goes of on long seasons of silent treatment and deprives you of affection
4. Your spouse often tells you God has instructed them to take a retreat or a break away from you
5. Your spouse appears very gentle, kind and good on the outside and would never hurt a fly but behind closed doors they shame you with guilt, burden you with subtle words of inadequacy, and make you feel unworthy of love by the distance created by their lack of communication and physical affection.
6. Your spouse is very devoted in church and to others but often has very little time for you and family life

Speak up, Speak Out, Assert Yourself, Break the Cycle and change the manner in which you have always responded. Let your spouse know this is no longer acceptable by not giving in to the pattern. Seek for help.. Your Destiny is worth much more.

ChangewithKemi
Lifeconsults Inc.. Free Christian Counseling and Coaching available 8479439238 / email -Info@lifeconsults.org
photo courtesy: freedigitalphotos.net Photo by Witthaya Phonsawat

Photocourtesy: Freedigitalphotos.net Photo by Witthaya Phonsawat.

Clean out the Junk… Ladies !

For Ladies: “Clean out the Junk”

We are almost mid way into the year and by now many of us have piled up a lot of junk in the luggage of our heart. I say this because in January we had so much optimism, expectations, and energy about all the new goals for the new year and all the plans we had. Well some things didn’t go as planned, some goals still remain unmet, and possibly there has been some disappointments from some people that we thought were going to be there for us. We might have picked some unforgiveness ,a little bitterness, some stress, even some hopelessness and wondering why has God let you down. So no matter where you are on the journey of 2015, it is not too late to pick up some new momentum. There is six months left so use it to your advantage. Maybe those things that have not worked out for you so well were a way for God to get your attention to clean out your heart for the work that’s ahead in the next half of the year . Or maybe it’s not , it probably had nothing to do with God and more to do with you. You keep waiting for something to happen before you make a move to do the things that you are meant to. Either way, whatever it is that has slowed you down in the last six months.

Try these tips to gain some speed:

Rethink some things over – Is it time to let go of somethings and maybe replace them with new things

Clean out some of the Junk in your heart and in your house- Clutter is the enemy of anything good

Gain some new skills – just maybe you need to know how

Stop asking so many questions- Just start doing

Don’t pile up new junk- Avoid people, habits, foods that fill you up with junk.
Kemi Adegbite 2015

“Make Your Emotions Work for You”

Ladies’ Corner:

Recognize that emotions are gifts. God created your emotions to help accomplish good purposes in your life. Rather than trying to deny or suppress the negative emotions you feel, ask God to show you how they can teach you something valuable and motivate you to grow.

Realize how significantly your emotions can affect you physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you let negative emotions run wild without directing them properly in your life, they can cause a host of illnesses that can eventually destroy your body, lead to sinful and destructive thoughts in your mind, and alienate you from God by tempting you to pull away from Him. But if you aim to use your negative emotions as catalysts to positive change, you can experience physical, mental, and spiritual benefits.

http://www.crosswalk.com/…/make-your-emotions-work-for-you-…

“Being Busy”- The Real Enemy

Faith Corner: “Being Busy” is the Real Enemy

Being busy is a requirement of the world we live in. There’s simply too many things to do. Our souls becomes so full and overwhelmed with doings that life becomes all about doing for the self and pleasing the self. This state of being busy does not allow us to fully connect with God , our inner selves and others. Life becomes an anxious race full of activities at work, church, home. We all become like Robots and our work turns to mere activities for survival without joy, meaning and value. The soul begins to slowly die when the content of it is “hurry” “deadlines” ” activities”

* Take a moment now to review the contents of your soul ?

* When are you most likely to get caught up in busyness ?

* What can you do differently today ?

Kemi Adegbite 2015